Friends

Friends

If you ask my kindergartner if he has any friends at school, he'll innocently reply, "Yes, 24 of them." He's still at that
tender age where he does not show partiality. He still believes that everyone is your friend, and therefore, you treat
everyone nicely. I love him for that.

At the same time, I do hope that one day as his friendships mature, he learns to understand the qualities that form
that special friend.

The way I see it, friends can be differentiated into three categories - similar to qualities denoted by nouns, adjectives
and verbs.

A noun kind of friend is that friend whom you find yourself mysteriously drawn towards. This kind of friend is the
subject of many fun ideas or actions. You may not have much in common with regard to this friend's morals, values,
or status in life, but when together, the object is absolute amusement.

An adjective kind of friend is a friendship based upon association; maybe a class, team, fraternity or sorority, work, or
other group. This friend modifies your quality, and gives a more definite meaning, for the time of involvement. While
the connection lasts, the friendship feels interesting and colorful. After the association period ends, an adjective
friend might resurface sporadically. They will relate their life's highlights, you'll tell yours in return. But the original,
chummy connection might not carry on beyond that past relationship.

A verb kind of friend that agrees with who you are, helps you express your style of being, and remains a structural
center of your life. This is a friend in the active sense of the word. A verb kind of friend knows you through and
through, and likes you better for it. A verb kind of friend holds tight your secrets, champions your dreams, rescues
you from pickles, and respects your family. This is the friend who supports you through all life's experiences. This
friend honors meaningful dates or anniversaries, both happy and sad. They don't just show for the party, they also
attend the funeral. This friend makes the drive even when it's inconvenient, holds your hand or hair back when you
vomit, wipes the snot from your face after an "ugly" cry, and tells you the truth about your haircut or weight. This
friend might occasionally let you down, but you don't think twice about finding a way to forgive and move beyond. A
verb friend touches your heart and life in a lasting way.

Nouns, adjectives, and verbs each bear a necessary function in building a well formed sentence. Nouns, I find, are
pretty common. Adjectives appear frequently and add needed color at the time, but if not carefully selected, may be
weak, or overworked. But good, strong verbs are rare. My hope for my son is that one day he will learn how to be a
verb kind of friend, and that someone will honor his life as that kind of friend in return.